Autumn

We've been blessed with some truly beautiful weather over that past couple of days. It's much cooler and the evenings are crisp and chili. I love it, but I have to say that it is this time of year that I really miss autumn bike rides in Utah and gorgeous fall days in New York. I was reading my friend's blog who still lives in New York. It made me yearn for beautiful fall foliage and crave yummy apple cider doughnuts. Seriously delish. If anyone finds any here in Texas, please let me know.

Our apartment in New York (Albany area) was less than a couple miles from several small farms, most of which had a quaint country store associated with it. There were dozens of apple orchards and pumpkin patches to choose from and we enjoyed sampling each of their apple cider doughnuts. It was just too easy to run out on a cold, autumn Saturday morning to one of our favorite local farms to pick up a few warm doughnuts along with a couple cups of fresh apple cider. Oh they are sooooo good! I'll never forget Tyler's first experience with the delicious dessert. I was one of those crazy moms who didn't want my child eating french fries and sweets, but I couldn't resist sharing this culinary delight with him. He was about 9 months old and we gave him a small morsel of the sugary good stuff. His eyes bulged out and he flapped his arms, grunting for more. We gave him a bit more and then tried to hide the bag with the rest of our doughnuts. We couldn't fool him. Every time he caught a glimpse of the white bag he'd squeal with delight and grunt for more. He was focused and fixed on that bag and nothing in the world could distract him. It was hilarious and oddly enough, some things never change.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures of some of our fall outings that year.

These pictures make me laugh at the Texas attempt at a pumpkin patch with it's evenly spaced rows of pumpkins laid out on some grassy field, bounce houses, and wooden cut-outs of popular cartoon characters all while pushy moms chase around their children dressed in matching Halloween or autumn outfits trying to get "the perfect shot." Oh and it's usually blasted hot and the kids are more about climbing and playing and not so much into posing for their photo opp. That doesn't mean we won't be going to the pumpkin patch (check back in after Friday) it just means all the while I'm there, I miss the quaint, beautiful lifestyle we enjoyed in lovely New York. Oh and I miss this adorably kissable baby boy! Who said he could grow up so fast?

Birthday #30 and Baby #2

Thursday night two of my dear friends, Jen and Kristina, threw me a surprise birthday bash/ baby shower. It was fabulous! Jen had to inform John of the surprise and earlier in the week John feared he had spilled the beans. Lucky for him, I am a little slow to piece things together. I thought I had figured out that Jen and Kris had invited a few extra friends out to ice cream instead of just the three of us going out to celebrate like they had told me. Little did I know that when we arrived at Jen's house to pick her up for our "ice cream outing," several of my sweet friends had gathered to surprise me. And surprised I was!!! It wasn't at all what I was expecting and what a fun change of plans. Although I was thrilled that we were still having ice cream because you just can't change food plans on a pregnant lady like that, especially when it comes to ice cream.

It was so fun to celebrate this little miracle with so many of my dear friends. I was touched by their outpouring of love and support, even though this is my second boy. I loved sorting through and looking at all of the adorable, soft blue baby things. It's like therapy for a very uncomfortable pregnant mommy. It's a sweet reminder that good things are soon to come!!!

I also enjoyed the "baby shower experience" with a different paradigm this time. For so many years, baby showers have been the source of some intense emotions. There were years when we were in the midst of our infertility struggles and it was all I could do to send a gift and my regrets that I wouldn't be able to attend. My feelings were just to raw to participate in such an event. It wasn't that I wasn't happy for the person, it's just that my happiness for that person was entangled too deeply with jealousy, hurt, confusion, desire, and sadness. The years passed and it became a little easier to learn to separate the emotions and set aside my despair and focus on the good.

Then along came Tyler. Of course this made attending the dreaded baby shower much, much easier. At least I had something in common with all the other mommies and I had the desire of my heart. It didn't hurt so badly to see all of those tiny, soft baby clothes and wonder how long I would have to wait in order to have such things for my baby. However, there was still one part of the baby shower that never got easier- the pregnancy and labor and delivery chitter chatter. I get it now. It's part of what we are there to celebrate. It's common to most every one there, and it is such an immensely interesting experience- you can't help but talk about it.

But there was a time when I likened this type of small talk to a trip to Egypt. I felt that every time I attended a baby shower, all of the other attendees had at one time or another been on a trip to Egypt. They talked about every aspect of their individual trips in detail. They compared experiences, events and feelings. And yet I had never been to Egypt, and as far as I knew, I wasn't going. I had come to terms with not going to Egypt because I had been someplace else for my trip, but I still felt the social awkwardness of not having had the same experience. Sure, I was still sad and a little jealous, but I was okay emotionally. I just hadn't figured out how to conquer the social awkwardness that I felt. I asked questions about Egypt and listened politely to every painstaking detail about everyone's trips, but didn't have a whole lot to contribute to the conversation.

So now I'm on my way to Egypt! I'm thrilled in every way possible. I loved my "other trip" but feel so blessed now to enjoy the fullness of experiences that life has to offer. I will always attend every baby shower with the thoughts and feelings and sensitivities that I used to harbor, especially as I consider many dear friends who may never enjoy the same experiences. Life sure is interesting with all of it's twists and turns.

Thanks again everyone for your well wishes and loving support!

What's making me laugh

Just thought I'd post a few things that are making laugh these days.

We went to a birthday party last week. Tyler had a blast. The theme of the party was Transformers. On the ride home, this is what I saw in my rear view mirror.

And then I had to convince him that he really couldn't eat lunch with that thing on.

Then, this past weekend, John and Tyler made applesauce. You'd think peeling a dozen apples would be an enjoyable and fun activity with a preschool aged child. This is how John felt about it:

Then the other day, we got out some of our Halloween stuff. Tyler was thrilled to find this batman mask and decided to practice his trick-or-treating skills. On a side note, I don't know what's funnier, the fact that he thought he might get some candy with this get up, or the outfit that he dressed himself in that morning. Hey folks, we're low key these days and I'm just glad he put on his own clothes!

And of course, this is how I found him watching cartoons this morning.

Finally, here is Tyler serenading us with one of his favorite songs

Here are the words:

Today is a wonderthul day (still can't say the "f" or "v" sound) thor I am going away. Not to the circus, not to the pool, can't you guess I'm going to preschool!!!

Yahoo!

Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for your wonderful advice, tips, and thoughts! I loved reading what you all had to say. It was SO helpful as I sort out all of this crazy stuff. If you have any more advice, feel free to keep it coming! Seriously ladies, this is why we blog!!! Love it.

I thought I'd update you on my quest for acquisition of all things baby and nursing. Yesterday I took a trip to Kid to Kid (the consignment store). I was dropping off a few things that we no longer needed, and I was curious to see if they had any of the items on my list. BINGO!!! I scored a gently used Bjorn carrier as well as a brand new baby sling still in it's original packaging. And not just any sling, the exact sling I was looking at online (hot slings). With my credit from the items I dropped off, the total was less than what I would have paid for the sling alone. I have amazingly good Karma when it comes to that store. I hardly ever go there, but when I do, I am amazed at how I score! I've popped in on two other occasions and found exactly what I was looking for down to the brand and color.

Oh, but it doesn't end there my friends. I was looking on Craigslist for a Madela breast pump. More good Karma!!! Posted just the day before is the exact Madela electric breast pump I've been eyeing for almost half the price (plus several extra parts, most of which are still in the original packaging). And even better, the lady only used it on weekends for 2 months, so it's practically new!!!

Yep, I'm thinking of changing my middle name to $, pronounced "cha-ching!!!"

By the way, one last thing. As I have been washing all of Tyler's baby clothes, I have discovered that Oxyclean works wonders (thanks for the tip, Alycia). I soaked the clothes for about 45 minutes in Oxyclean and then washed once more with a scoop more of Oxyclean and that Dreft baby detergent. Almost all of the spit-up stains (that weren't visible when I put the clothes away four years ago) have come out. There are a few things that are slightly discolored, but hardly noticable.
There, now I can feel like I've given back in some small way!

Nesting

Well, I've reached that phase in pregnancy that everyone refers to as "nesting." I don't really agree with the idea that this is a biological response in pregnancy. As if something embedded in my DNA tells me that I need to clean my house. When I mention to people all the preparations I'm making I hate when they respond with the ever classic, "Oh, you're nesting." Birds nest, other animals instinctively "nest," but with humans, c'mon, it's a logical response. If you were going on vacation, you'd pack a suitcase, if you were going back to school, you'd buy school supplies...if you're having a baby, you wash baby clothes and buy bottles. Not much biological about that. That's just me.



Anyway, on my quest to get ready for this little guy to join our family, I have once again found myslef feeling overwhelmed with the to do list of things both to do and to purchase. Baby clothes are washed and ready, the house is clean and organized (thanks John), the car seat is clean and ready, but when it comes to the ever stressful trips to Babies R Us, I'm still a hopeless mess.



I can remember this same feeling after we found out we were going to be welcoming Tyler to our family. We didn't have much time, we were moving, and I was still teaching. Trips to Babies R Us started right away. The first time we walked in, I was hit by several emotions all at once. First I was overjoyed that I was actually shopping there...for me! I hadn't really ever allowed myself to go shopping there unless it was completely necessary for a baby shower and even then, it was still a little too painful. So on the one hand I was thrilled to be there, shopping for MY baby. On the other hand, I was a stress filled train wreck. When I realized how long the list of items was that had to be purchased, I wanted to run right back out the door. My head was spinning- Avent bottles, or Playtex, Graco stroller or Perego, blue sheets or white? It was almost too much to think about all at once, but like I say, we were about to move and time was of the essence.



Fast forward almost four years and I still find myself having the same panic attacks. Thank heavens I already have the clothes, blankest, crib, etc, but I've found an all new subject to cause my heart rate to speed up the minute I step foot in Babies R Us. This time around, I have to deal with all things nursing. And so I turn to you my faithful blogging friends. Now is your turn to give out all of that unsolicited advice, only this time, I'm actually soliciting! So here's what I want to know:



1. Breast pumps??? Madela is the obvious front runner in this arena, but do I rent, buy or buy used? What particular model did you like best?



2. Nursing bras??? Everything I've seen so far is a soft cup. Sure that's all well and good and comfy, but hello...I've seen way too many RT's on nursing moms (don't know how else to say that politely). Is there a better bra out there that will give better coverage and smoothness?



3. Boppy's??? Are they all the same?



4. Nursing privacy shields??? You know, the cape/blanket/drape thinggy that gives you some privacy while nursing. Did you ever actually use one? Are they worth it? What kind did you like best?



5. (not related to nursing, but still keeps me awake at night) Baby slings??? Did you use one? For how many months can you really lug the little guy around like that? Did you ever use it instead of a Bjorn? It does seem easier to get the baby in and out of for when you're around the house and such, but is it worth the money?



6. Diaper bags??? I found two I really like. One is on the larger side and the other is a little small, but has better construction and is more durable. I had one I loved with Tyler, but the zipper broke during it's final uses. I just can't seem to remember how much stuff you actually lug around for these little guys. Plus, this time around, I won't need to carry as much formula, water and bottles.



7. Any other other products this time around that will totally make this momma happy?



I know you all have some good insights, so please send them my way and maybe I can finally rest at night without worrying about all the "stuff" I still gotta figure out. Thanks friends!!!

Thirty going on 90!

So yesterday was my birthday...the big 30!!!

(and yes, that is the infamous pumpkin pie cake. You might remember it from this post. Yes, it is that good. A few of you asked for the recipe. You can find it here. John did a great job making this delicious treat!)

It turned out to be a nice day- different than I had ever envisioned my thirtieth birthday being, but then again, I never envisioned I'd be 35 weeks pregnant with my first pregnancy on my thirtieth birthday. Ideas of throwing myself a huge bash to celebrate my "coming of age" were all left by the wayside as I opted for a calmer, quieter trip to a restaurant with my boys and a nice relaxing evening sitting in my recliner. Come to think of it, I feel more like I'm 90. Seriously, I have the bladder control of a 90 year old, I move as slowly and with as many aches and pains as a 90 year old, I have to stop halfway up the stairs to catch my breath (thankfully the landing between our stair cases actually has a bench where I can take a moment before continuing my incline...how 90 year old is that?!?), and if I do recall, it took several family members when I was younger to hoist my dear, old grandmother into our family van. I find myself frequently relying on a kind "heave ho" from my sweet husband to get me in and out of our car or even up off the couch. And let's face it, a waddle isn't too different from a shuffle. So there you have it...thirty going on 90. Ah, the joys!!!

I was bummed when a lunch date with some girlfriends fell through due to sick kids, but this little number certainly cheered me up- and I do plan to cash in on the rain check to get together when all the sickies feel better!!!

I love adoption

I'm asking for your help in another "finding effort." One of my dearest friends, Jaimi, is hoping to adopt again. I am so thrilled for this little family. I met Jaimi several years ago when we were both teaching first grade. Our classrooms were right next door to each other. I know that the Lord knew what he was doing when he had our paths cross. Jaimi and I quickly discovered that we were both struggling with infertility and both desperately wanted to start a family. We both went to the same infertility specialist and even had the same diagnosis. We'd "check in" with each other on a daily basis- making sure the other was doing okay both emotionally and physically. It was such a blessing having my own personal therapist who knew my every emotion as we experienced it together. Some days all I had to do was look at Jaimi and I knew she knew exactly what was going on and how I was doing. I had a shoulder to cry on anytime I needed it.

Jaimi is so compassionate and thoughtful. Her desires are so righteous and she has such a good, tender heart. Jaimi has a strong moral compass and never waivers in what is right. She is a fantastic mother. I love seeing how dearly she cherishes her sweet daughter Summer.

Jeff is a superhero in his own right. I mostly adore him because of how much he adores my sweet Jaimi. He showers her with love and respect. Jeff is dedicated and hard working. He actually served in the same mission as my older sister Steph. He very nearly saved her mission. He was her district leader at the very beginning of her mission during a very difficult time. She speaks very highly about him and about how he convinced her not to go home (you know how all missionaries swear they'll never make it and want to go home during those first few weeks out).

I couldn't say enough good things about this sweet family. I was thrilled when Jaimi adopted cute little Summer only a few short months after we adopted Tyler. I'll never forget the day Jaimi called me and told me she was a new mom and was holding her new baby daughter. I was shocked and overjoyed and cried happy tears for days afterward.

I am praying that things go as smoothly and quickly this time around as they did last time. I will be anxiously awaiting that phone call once again. And this is where we need YOU. I ask you to please mention this cute family to your friends and neighbors, to your extended families, to physicians and other medical personnel who might have contact with birth parents who are considering various options for an unplanned pregnancy (and FYI, the correct term is unplanned pregnancy, not unwanted pregnancy- don't think I even need to explain that one).

You can view Jeff and Jaimi's profile with LDS Family Services by going to http://www.itsaboutlove.org/ then click on "Search Adoption Profiles." From there you will type jeffandjaimi (all one word) in the adoption profile name field. I have also linked their family adoption site on my favorite links (http://www.onepotatotwopotatothreepotatofour.blogspot.com/). Please feel free to share this info with anyone you think might be able help in this regard.

I know that the Lord has his hand in this process. It is miraculous.

Happy Birthday!

Yesterday was John's birthday. On Saturday I took Tyler to the dollar store so that he could choose his own present for dad. If you've never done this before, I highly recommend it. It's pretty interesting to see what kinds of things your kid thinks your spouse needs. Tyler very carefully selected two car wash sponges (John frequently washes our cars...with the help of Tyler, of course). He also chose a paintbrush (John's been painting the nursery and doing a few touch-ups lately). Then he selected a mickey mouse puzzle (Tyler LOVES puzzles and is amazing at them). He convinced me that "dad" would like the puzzle. But what is really funny is how thrilled Tyler was this morning when he realized that dad didn't take his puzzle to work. His words, "I guess dad won't care if I play with it while he's gone!"

(the proud gift-giver)

(the pleasantly surprised birthday boy)

Later that day we had cake and ice cream- only it was brownies and ice cream (at John's request). Notice two things: First, notice that 1/4 of the pan of brownies is missing. Hmmm...I suppose you can do whatever you want on your birthday, including eat your birthday dessert before it's dessert time! Secondly, notice there are only 5 candles. You know you're getting old when there are too many candles to fit on the cake (especially if you've already eaten a good portion of it), so you convert your age into binary numbers (1,1,1,1,1). For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, you must not be married to an engineer!!!

Hope you had a nice birthday, babe! I love you more and more every year!

A Camping We Did Go

As the weather gets cooler and as my tummy gets bigger, we thought we'd go on one last camping trip of the year. It was a nice, quiet, quick trip. I love simple moments spent with my boys.

John and Tyler set up camp, started a fire, and roasted hot dogs and marshmallows.

And me? I did this...

In the morngin, John made breakfast

Tyler helped eat breakfast

They watched cartoons on the laptop,

As for me? I did more of this.