Update

In case you couldn't tell from my last post, my admiration for Cliff Scherb is quite apparent. You see, our family is quite active and cycling is a part of our lives that we genuinely value. When Robby was first diagnosed, we didn't know how that would effect some of our life long goals and aspirations for our family. Would we still be able to bike the Oregon coast as a family? Will competitive events be something we have to let go because our son resents the fact that he can't participate? Will family bike rides be confined to the limits of our neighborhood?

That is why when I stumbled across Cliff's story, I was captivated, inspired, and thrilled. Thrilled to learn that nothing, not even diabetes, will hold back my little boy!

And now, here's the best part- if you check out the comments section of my last post, you'll notice that Cliff himself left me an encouraging comment with a link to a video about his Kona experience. Are you kidding me?- nicest guy ever! The video is awesome. Check it out (compliments of Cliff himself)

(...oh, and in case you're wondering, yes, I'm beside myself with excitement that Cliff actually took the time to leave me a comment)

You're in good company...part 2

For sure Robby is in good company as well. I'm certain that as he gets older he too will be curious to know "who else has diabetes, Mom?" I've already got my list ready. Sometimes when you're looking for connections, they seem to find you. About a month ago as I was talking to our next door neighbor, I learned that she has Type 1. And then just last week as I was picking up Tyler from school, I noticed a young mom walk past with her little boy. She had slung over her shoulder the same JDRF backpack we were given at the hospital. Of course I stopped her and we began chatting about her first grader who has Type 1. I'm also looking forward to getting together with a few other families in our area that I've met online. I already had the opportunity to meet Joanne, and I can't wait to get together with our kiddos as well.

And of course, there are a few superstar Type 1 heroes that we hope Robby will look to for inspiration as he learns to live life to the fullest with Type 1 Diabetes.

First, there's Sean Busby, a professional snowboarder

Pop star, Nick Jonas (a fellow OmniPod user)

The riders from Team Type 1. A few years ago I read an article about Team Type 1 in Bicycle Magazine. At that time I knew very little about Diabetes, but I still understood enough to know that what these riders were accomplishing was quite remarkable. It was also the first time I had ever heard of a CGM and the OmniPod. Little did I know at that time what a HUGE part of my life both would become!

The list continues with professional football players, baseball players, basketball players, marathoners, swimmers, hockey players, and a handful of entertainers.

But last week when I read Lorraine's post about Cliff Scherb, my heart was won over.

Cliff is a professional triathlete...and a type 1 diabetic (and an OmniPod user). I seriously never thought those two words could ever exist in the same sentence. Cliff competes in Ironman events, including the World Championships in Kona. When I told John about Cliff's accomplishments, our conversation went something like this:

Me: "Wow. You're never going to believe this. I read about this guy who's been to the Ironman championships and he's Type 1."


John: "That's cool. So what was his time? Did he make the cut-off?" (John thinking there's no way this guy is for real)


Me: "His personal best is 9hr 7min."


John: silence. eyebrows up, mouth open, silence.

(quick reminder- the ironman is a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 marathon)


That time is superhuman for someone with a fully functioning pancreas. I can't even fathom it for someone who is insulin dependent. Without being seriously vigilant, that level of physical activity for that amount of time could be lethal for a type 1 diabetic, but Cliff has pulled it off amazingly. He attributes his ability to compete and manage his insulin needs to the OmniPod (can you tell how much we love the OmniPod?). No shots, no tubing and fine-tuned basal rates are a necessity

Lorianne also has a great link to this video about how Cliff uses the insulin pump. I encourage you to take a second to watch it. I think it's the best explanation I've seen for what we're trying to accomplish with Robby's CGM and OmniPod combination. If nothing else, take a second to watch it to understand how it all works.

I'm amazed by the level of dedication and discipline that would be required to accomplish all the Cliff has done, and I love that Lorianne's article also portrays what a genuinely nice guy Cliff is. Robby is lucky to have some pretty great heroes to look up to.

You're in good company

Several months ago this book found it's way into our library bag. After reading it, I was surprised we didn't already own it. It's a very sweet and positive story about a little girl who joined her family through adoption.

After reading it several times, Tyler told me, "Mom, that girl was adopted just like me." And then he continued and asked me, "Mom, who else was adopted?"

It just so happens that our ward at church has several families who have adopted. I was able to list off the names of several friends that he knows personally. It was quite remarkable. In that moment, I could tell that he was searching for a connection, for someone who is like him. I hope that he won't feel that his situation is unique or different, only special and miraculous.

And someday when he's older and wants to know who else was adopted, I'll share with him this lovely video.

Six things...adoption edition

I thought that I'd go ahead and give you the six things I want you to know about adoption and infertility. There seems to be a lot of misconceptions on the topic, so here are a few items that I thought would shed some light.

1. Open adoptions aren't scary. Tyler was adopted almost 6 years ago as a newborn (2 days old). Back then, open adoptions were just barely starting to become the norm. I'll admit, I was nervous and skeptical at first about having an open relationship with our child's birth mother. Our agency encouraged us not to share last names or addresses. We met Tyler's birth mother on one occasion before he was born and once at placement, and we corresponded through the agency office- dropping off letters and gifts that they would then relay to her. The natural progression of our relationship has brought us closer in a more open relationship. We now have contact through email, facebook, direct letters and packages in the mail, and even through this blog we share the details of our life with her. It feels natural to do so. I love that she feels confident in her decision to place Tyler with our family. She can see firsthand that he is happy, loved, and doing incredibly well. I also love that I can frequently share with her my love I have for her. Can you imagine being given the greatest gift of your life and not be able to thank frequently and share your sincere gratitude with the person who gave you that gift? Lastly, I love that when Tyler asks questions about who he looks like or what his birth mom is like, I have many wonderful cards, emails, letters and pictures to share with him. And should the day come when he desires to meet his birth mom, he won't have to search for her and that relationship will be easily accessible. Open adoptions are truly a blessing.

2. The love a mother has for her children is the same no matter how they came to her. I will start off by saying that I acknowledge that adoption isn't for everyone. But when people say to me, "Oh I could never adopt. I just don't think I'd feel the same love for an adopted child." I can tell you firsthand, that it just doesn't matter how those babies come to you. You will love them the same. I don't know that there is even more I could say on the matter. It's just that simple.

3. Tyler knows he was adopted. I do get people who ask me sometimes in hushed tones if Tyler knows he was adopted. Of course he does! We don't make a big deal about it, but I think he has a very sweet and basic understanding of how he came to our family. We've always been open with him about that fact- even before he was old enough to understand. I always wanted words like adoption, birth mom, etc. to be a part of his vocabulary. We have several children's books about adoption and we have a very special baby book that documents our personal adoption process. I love hearing Tyler explain to others about adoption. He's so positive, matter of fact, and already understands the Heavenly Father had a plan for him.

4. Not all couples who adopt become pregnant. I've mentioned it before, but I'll say it again. When a couple decides to adopt, it isn't appropriate to share with them every example you know of couples who adopt and then "magically" become pregnant. First off, it negates their sacred decision to pursue adoption. As if adoption is only a means to having biological children. Be excited for them and the journey the are about to begin. And secondly, yes, it happens (I am an obvious example of this fact), but more often, it doesn't happen. I wish I knew the exact statistic, but far fewer couples become pregnant after adoption that those who don't.

5. infertility can make you feel broken, isolated, neglected, and question who you are. Infertility. Bleh. I don't know what more to say. Those were some difficult years. I knew I was meant to be a mother. I just didn't know how or when. Not knowing was so difficult. I was grateful for a loving husband, a good relationship with my Heavenly Father, and a career that helped me feel fulfilled, but there was still such a huge void in my life. I didn't know who I was because I wasn't the person that I wanted to be. I wanted to be a mother. If you know couples who are struggling with infertility, be sensitive. Don't complain about pregnancy with them (even though now having experienced it, I do believe every pregnant woman has every right to complain...just don't do it in front of infertile couples). Don't tell them to enjoy their childless years- take vacations, sleep in, pursue their own goals because once they have kids, life will change forever. That change is the one thing they want more than anything in the world (even though it is true advice and all of those things help, you don't need to tell them that). Don't expect them to attend every baby shower and be thrilled about every pregnancy announcement. It's just sometimes painful. Don't use the phrase, "in the Lord's time." It is so true, but sometimes it just doesn't make things feel any better. Do genuinely ask how they are doing. You don't need to know about every test and procedure and every attempt to become pregnant, but you can always ask, "How are you feeling about all this stuff? Is there anything I can do to help?" Most importantly, be supportive and sincerely concerned. While life without children might sound easy and peaceful...it is lonely and discouraging.

6. I am not the hero. In casual conversations with strangers, it has come up once or twice that I am an adoptive mother. On more than one occasion, the person has said to me how wonderful they think it is that I would adopt and what a noble decision it was for us. I try to make it quite clear that I did nothing noble. I was desperate, I was childless, I was heartbroken and all of that was mended when a selfless woman placed her baby into my empty arms. She did for me what, at that time, I could not do for myself- that is a true hero.

Whew! There you go...more enlightening and education!

Six things

According to dblog day, today I'm supposed to blog about the six things I want you to know about diabetes (I know...who comes up with this stuff???), but since I'm trying to raise awareness and educate, I figure I'd give it a go.

Here they are in no particular order:

• 1. type 1 and type 2 diabetes are very different. Robby has Type 1 diabetes. It is an autoimmune disease; meaning that for reasons not even science can fully understand, his immune system decided to attack and kill off the insulin producing beta cells in his pancreas. He no longer produces insulin and never will. There is no cure. He can not manage it with medication or diet changes. He straight up needs life-saving insulin delivered to his body through shots or a pump. Type 2 diabetics suffer from some of the same symptoms and some of the same heath problems caused by this disease. The main difference is that type 2 diabetics still produce insulin, but for various reasons (diet, weight, genetics, etc) their body doesn't utilize it effectively. Some type 2 diabetics can manage and control their diabetes with the help of diet changes, exercise, and medications. Some (not all) can even reverse their diagnosis.

• 2. Robby can eat whatever he wants. When Robby was first diagnosed, people frequently said, "Well, this shouldn't be so hard for you guys since you already eat so healthy." I'll admit that Robby is better off because we eat healthy, but so would any kid be. Robby has no diet restrictions. He eats as any kid his age would, and I step in and act as any kid's pancreas would. Carbohydrates provide the body with the energy it needs to survive, insulin is what unlocks the energy in those carbs. EVERYTHING has carbs (except meat, cheese, and pickles). Sugar free stuff isn't necessarily carb free (it very rarely is). When Robby eats, all carbs must be counted and then given the proper dose of insulin for those carbs. Having said that, there are still some foods that are particularly nasty and difficult (pizza and mac and cheese). We want Robby to feel like a normal kid so we try to tackle these difficult foods (except mac and cheese, it's so tricky that we've pretty much banned if from our house) as best we can. Bottom line- there are no restrictions. My favorite was when we first arrived home from the hospital after Robby's diagnosis, our friends from church who also have a type 1 diabetic son brought us cookies...twice. She told me it was because no one will ever bring us treats again!

• 3. Insulin is not a cure, it is a life sustaining treatment. There currently is no cure for diabetes. Insulin is Robby's life-saving drug. He needs it to survive, and yet it is that same life-saving drug that could kill him. Yeah, sounds awful, but I'm not just saying that to be dramatic. Too much insulin could deprive his brain of necessary glycogen. It's what makes this delicate game of balancing insulin, carbs, physical activity (and any number of other factors) such a stressful task. And on that note, I wish people understood how difficult that task is. I know people mean well when they say, "Oh, so he just needs a few doses of insulin before or after meals to keep him going, right?" I wish it were only that simple. Humor me and check out Meri's post about a typical lunch situation with one of her boys. That is every meal and snack at our house. And even then, you can do all the math right, have the pump programmed perfectly and things can still turn out a little (or a lot) "off." This about killed John at first. His mathematical brain wanted inputs and outputs to match. At first it made my brain hurt and I cried a lot, but I think we're starting to get used to it a little.

• 4. There is no such thing as "leveling out" or "becoming more stable." I get questions all the time now that we are six moths out from diagnosis if we've seen Robby's blood sugars finally start to level out. Ahhhh! I wish! But there is no such thing as leveling out in the world of type 1. Highs and lows are just a part of the game. Robby could eat the same three meals EVERY day, be given the same amount of insulin every day and have completely different outcomes EVERY day. The number of variables that can effect blood sugar is mind boggling- if he eats something high fat, if he eats something with high glycemic index, if he's super active, if he's sick, if he's sad or excited, anxious or calm, if the barometric pressure drops (not even kidding), if he gets hurt, if he's having a growth spurt, if I bolus too late, if I accidentally stack the insulin doses...and the list goes on and on. It makes me marvel at what a miracle the human body is. There are a few things that we have definitely gotten a better hold of since he was first diagnosed- his breakfast spike is well under control, his basal rates of insulin are fine tuned, his carb to insulin ratios are better, and our carb counting/guessing skills are much more refined. These things have helped, but we still have crazy days with unexplained fly away highs (in the 400's) and drop through the floor lows (in the 40's) and we pretty much always will.

• 5. Managing type 1 diabetes is a full time job. All day. All night. I think that night time care is one of the hardest aspects of being a parent of a child with type 1. You'd think that once his little body is resting and not eating, it would be most stable. It turns out that growth hormones and other crazy stuff happens while we sleep. The liver kicks out glucose, food can be slow to digest, his pancreas can rally and spew out small amounts insulin, increased physical activity during the day can have a delayed response, and on and on. Thankfully, we have the CGM that helps us so that we don't have to poke him every 2-4 hours at night, but it is an electronic device and it does have it's fair share of glitches. We still get up at least once for a poke (BG check) and to make sure the CGM hasn't pooped out on us. In the last 6 months, we have only had 3 "perfect nights"- one in which he didn't need either food (yes, he can down an entire yogurt in his sleep) nor insulin to correct a trend. We've had LOTS of close to perfect nights that required minor adjustments (a few bites of yogurt or a small dose of insulin), and we've also had our fair share of sleepless nights where nothing goes right and one of us ends up sleeping on the floor in Robby's bedroom. It's tough. No way around it. It's just tough.

• 6. Robby is a normal kid and can do/be anything he wants to be. When you look at Robby you probably see a normal, active (and darling) two year old. If you look closely you'll see his battered little fingers and toes, his little fanny pack that holds his CGM receiver, and a slight bump on his leg or bum where he wears his insulin pod, but I hope that those aren't the first things you notice. John and I work like frantic, crazy mad-people on the sidelines of his life to ensure that he has a normal, happy childhood. Sometimes my head hurts from trying to figure out how soon to pre-bolus and dual-wave his pump for a slice of pizza, but if that means he gets to have pizza at the pizza party like all the other kids, then that's how it has to be. As long as he's careful and vigilant, he can do and be anything he wants to be (I'll have another post on this topic soon).

There you have it. Six things I wanted you to know about diabetes- consider yourself educated and enlightened.

Robby Report

Birthday Edition- 2 years old!

Wednesday was Robby's birthday! (has it really been two years already?!?)

We started the day off with a bowl of special birthday oatmeal with sprinkles (I pretty much go all out for my kids...wink, wink)

Then we headed off to the park to meet Jen and Coco for a birthday playdate. The minute Robby's stroller turned the corner to the park and he saw Jen, he started shouting her name and waving excitedly. Makes me get all choked up just thinking about it. And I thought he was going to be disappointed because Nolan wasn't there, but nope. He was just as thrilled to see Jen. Boy did her keep her busy. he kept saying um on, Jen! Um pay! and of course, Jen did not disappoint! She slid, climbed, chased and cuddled my sweet little man.

Here he is with his sweet pal Coco sharing a snack.

They even sent him home with his first birthday present of the day (he's way more excited about that Cars book than this picture lets on. He'd much rather play with it than stop to take a picture).

For dinner we decided to have a few of Robby's favorites. When John, Ty and I were coming up with the list of robby's favorites, we realized what a funny little guy he is. He likes fish better than chicken, he likes Subway better than McDonalds, he likes prunes better than raisins, he likes almonds and walnuts better than peanuts and he loves black beans and corn. Since it was birthday day, I didn't want to cook a whole lot so we went with some of his more low key favorites...hot dogs, homemade salsa with chips, and cantaloupe. Easy peasy.

Next we decided to open presents so as to give his insulin dose some time before hitting him with cake and ice cream.

Let me take just a second to explain Robby's birthday presents. A little over a year ago (before Robby turned one), I asked Tyler if it would be okay if we boxed up his trains and hid them for a while and then Tyler could give them to Robby for his birthday when he turned two. At the time, Tyler was 4 and a half and was pretty much done with "the train phase," so he was totally cool with that.

So for Robby's birthday, I bought one brand new train and wrapped it up and then put all of the old trains in a box and wrapped it up and then Tyler and I secretly set up a train track in the toy room to surprise Robby.

Here he is opening his presents and finding lots of "coo coos" (choo choos)

And here he is when he went upstairs and found some of his tracks set up.

Excited doesn't begin to describe it. He was hilariously adorable. We laughed at all of his darling, excited antics and chatter. He was so happy, he could hardly contain it!

He played and played and played. We were beginning to wonder if it was a bad idea to pre-bolus his insulin for cake and ice cream because we didn't know if we could tear him away from his train heaven.
We did finally make it downstairs for cake and ice cream, but not without...

you guessed it... a couple of trains.

And now he's super busy and has lots on his agenda to do all day...every day.

Happy Birthday to our little Gus!

Can you believe it???

National Adoption Day, November 20th

World Diabetes Day, November 14th

November just so happens to be National Adoption Month AND...wait for it, wait for it...National Diabetes Awareness Month! Bet you didn't see that one coming, huh? Well, it's absolutely true.

And so with that in mind, I'd like to dedicate a few posts this month to these two causes that are near and dear to my heart. I have a passion and a love for adoption. I want people to understand the joy and blessings that adoption has brought to my life. Can you imagine our family without Tyler? I also have a deep desire to share more understanding and education about diabetes. I want people to understand Robby's special needs and give more compassion to other families in our same situation.

Funny that the experiences that I have had with each of these have had the greatest impact on my life over the last several years. And even more interesting is that I truly believe that our experiences with infertility, adoption, and diabetes are ironically intertwined. I see now so clearly that God had a plan for our family. He always has. He knew what would be best for our family well before I ever figured it out.

I look back to our years of struggling with infertility. How badly I wanted a baby. That desire nearly consumed my every thought and emotion. I prayed more fervently for that one desire than I ever had before. But the Lord knew two things that I didn't- first, he knew Tyler needed to come to our family. How thankful I am that he lovingly and tenderly lead us down the sacred path of adoption. We needed Tyler and Tyler needed us. The second thing that He understood was that if Robby had joined our family with his special needs at that time, we would have struggled far beyond what we were capable of handling.

At that time (when we first tried to start our family), John was working on his master's degree and I had just graduated. If Robby had been born then, we would be six or seven years into his diagnosis. We would have been on BYU student insurance and neither his particular type of insulin pump nor his continuous glucose monitor were on the market. And even if they were, there is no way our student insurance would have approved either. That might not sound like a big deal, but it is. Diabetes is expensive. We would have struggled financially, emotionally, and physically (because lets face it, without the CGM, we'd be up every 2-3 hours at night checking that kid). I know that these struggles would have put a heavy strain on our delicate, new marriage. I believe with a surety that the Lord reserved Robby's arrival to our family for a time when we were in a better position to handle it. I wish I could somehow go back in time and tell myself during my darkest hours of infertility that the Lord knew of our circumstances. He knew of our little family. He has a plan, and loves us enough to give us trials that will bless us in the end, even if it means we have to experience heartache and disappointment. I am grateful that the Lord orchestrated a plan that would allow our sweet Tyler to join our family and would allow Robby to join our family at a time when we could provide for him the best possible care. God lives and loves us and blesses us through our trials.

Happy Halloween

The Halloween wrap-up:

Friday night was trunk-or-treat at the church. Before heading out, the boys made "mummy dogs" (hot dogs wrapped with Pillsbury dough)

Then got all dressed up.

are these not two of the cutest skeletons you have ever seen??? Thanks for the new pj's/costumes Grandma! Seriously, they are SO DANG CUTE!!!

The boys had a great time. Tyler loved the cake walk (don't tell him that it was rigged so that everyone who played won a cupcake) and Robby loved shooting basketballs.

Tyler loved making his way past every car with one of his best buds, Zack when it was time to start the trunk-or-treating. The two of them headed off together and I kind of just hung back and watched- I can't believe how grown up Tyler is.

Robby collected a few treats, but was mostly just content to hang out in the van with daddy. And since I'm all about NOT hauling my two year old diabetic son around to every car to collect candy- that worked out just fine for both of us. As for the diabetes side of things...I know what you're thinking- a diabetic's parents worst nightmare- and you're right. But really, it didn't turn out so bad at all. We gave him a pre-bolus of insulin before we even left the house and then tried to keep track of how much he ate. We figured there was little chance of him going low that night so we just kept on top of the insulin dosing. But really, he's only two and luckily didn't have too much interest in much more than a sucker, a few skittles, and half a cupcake. All in all, I am happy to say that we survived his first diabetic Halloween with his BG never hitting above 250 (given the glycemic index of candy, I'd say that's pretty good)...that is, until around 1:00 am when he hit 360 for no apparent reason, but that's just the nature of the beast (and why I don't get very good sleep these days). You can do everything right, get everything stable and under control and it's still unpredictable, unstable, and has a mind of it's own.

I love this picture of these two scoping out the goods. Tyler set right to work organizing and sorting. Robby just liked to shake the candies that came in little boxes.

On Saturday, we had a Halloween party of our own. This is so John. He does a great job of catering to my love of all things simple, but knows how to create fun memories for the kids. Love him.

Our first game was a donut eating contest (notice he used not a whole donut, not a half of a donut, but a quarter of a donut for this game- he wanted to make it fun not impossible).


Next we turned the boys into mummies. I love how you can tell just from the sparkle in Tyler's eyes how much he was loving this game. Robby did NOT want his arms wrapped up. Every time we'd circle around his body, he'd lift up his arms and wiggle them out of the wrap, so he's sporting more of the wrap-skirt look.



Dad took a turn too. And of course there was the fun throwing all of that TP around the living room like it was a winter wonderland for 15 minutes.

Then we played a game where they had to toss the m&m's into the pumpkin. It turns out, Robby LOVES m&m's. He shoved them into his little mouth as fast as Ty could toss them into the pumpkin. It was hilarious.



Finally, we ended the night watching Halloween cartoons on TV and reading a few of our favorite Halloween children's books. I hope my boys look back on their childhood and remember some of these fun moments we shared together, I know I sure will.

Here are a couple videos of the donut eating contest. At first Robby was mad because his donut was attached to the string...

...but he got over it eventually.